Only in her twenties, Amy* has been to hell and back. She shares her story in the hope that it will encourage others who struggle.
Among the many painful moments in Amy's life, one of the worst was the night her live-in boyfriend came home completely high on cocaine. His addiction had been worsening, but this night was different. This night, he attacked her at knifepoint, forcing himself on her. Terrified and traumatized, Amy fled.
Homelessness soon became her reality. With her own addictions to pills, pot and alcohol, just living day to day was a struggle. Even so, it was about to get worse. Amy became ill, and visited the nurse’s office. There she learned she was pregnant. “So now I was homeless, addicted, and pregnant by rape. I was in a bad spot mentally.” The thought of raising a child that was a product of rape - especially while being addicted and homeless - was one she could not bear.
“I then made the hardest choice of my life, and talked to a doctor about having an abortion.”
The procedure went through, and the pregnancy ended. The pain though, deepened.
“I was devastated. I remember sitting at my parents’ kitchen table thinking, ‘I am a murderer, and no one will ever love me if they know.” She hid the secret in her heart, along with all its gnawing guilt, and resolved no one could ever know.
Ten years later, Amy has a different life. Married, and the mother of two, she has forgiven herself. She credits the change – and emotional healing – to her discovery that Jesus’ grace covers even abortion. “I finally realized that I could be forgiven for this, and was set free by the power of Jesus’ grace and forgiveness.” Her active participation in her church and small group have been instrumental in her faith walk.
The journey is far from over, and there are many hurts to heal from and barriers to overcome. Still, Amy continues to walk with Jesus as he continues to set her free.
(* Amy is not her real name)
Among the many painful moments in Amy's life, one of the worst was the night her live-in boyfriend came home completely high on cocaine. His addiction had been worsening, but this night was different. This night, he attacked her at knifepoint, forcing himself on her. Terrified and traumatized, Amy fled.
Homelessness soon became her reality. With her own addictions to pills, pot and alcohol, just living day to day was a struggle. Even so, it was about to get worse. Amy became ill, and visited the nurse’s office. There she learned she was pregnant. “So now I was homeless, addicted, and pregnant by rape. I was in a bad spot mentally.” The thought of raising a child that was a product of rape - especially while being addicted and homeless - was one she could not bear.
“I then made the hardest choice of my life, and talked to a doctor about having an abortion.”
The procedure went through, and the pregnancy ended. The pain though, deepened.
“I was devastated. I remember sitting at my parents’ kitchen table thinking, ‘I am a murderer, and no one will ever love me if they know.” She hid the secret in her heart, along with all its gnawing guilt, and resolved no one could ever know.
Ten years later, Amy has a different life. Married, and the mother of two, she has forgiven herself. She credits the change – and emotional healing – to her discovery that Jesus’ grace covers even abortion. “I finally realized that I could be forgiven for this, and was set free by the power of Jesus’ grace and forgiveness.” Her active participation in her church and small group have been instrumental in her faith walk.
The journey is far from over, and there are many hurts to heal from and barriers to overcome. Still, Amy continues to walk with Jesus as he continues to set her free.
(* Amy is not her real name)
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